Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Making fun of religion makes me feel smart

My evangelical pen-pal "dared" me to read a book called "The Reason for God." The book jacket promises that the author "singlehandedly dismantles" every major objection to warmed-over neo-fundamentalist Christian orthodoxy. Singlehandedly dismantles! Wow! So I start reading this book, half-expecting my objections to be dismantled. Singlehandledly. By a guy who, it turns out, can't even get his head around the objections.

Spoiler alert: he fails epically. His efforts should only be expected to impress committed Christians who seek to allay their own lukewarm doubts, and perhaps a few non-Christians with malfunctioning baloney-detection systems.

There are really too many things wrong with this book to do it justice in a blog post, and my above-mentioned pen-pal can expect a more thoughtful and respectful response. But I have a deep-seated need to make fun of religious apologetics. So below, I offer you a flippant summary of Part 1, "The Leap of Doubt."

Critics allege: There can’t be just one true religion.
Keller responds: Yes, there can.

Critics allege: How could a good God allow suffering?
Keller responds: It builds character. But don’t worry; Jesus feels your pain.

Critics allege: Christianity is a straitjacket.
Keller responds: Freedom is slavery; slavery is freedom. Ta-da! Who’s in the straitjacket now?!?

Critics allege: The Church is responsible for so much injustice.
Keller responds: The Church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints. But it’s not a moral improvement program. Jesus invented compassion and all the values people use to critique Christianity, so you do not have your own grounds from which to critique Christianity anyway.

Critics allege: How can a loving God send people to Hell?
Keller responds: All wrongdoing must be punished. People who don’t believe in Hell just want to indulge their desire to sin without being accountable to anyone.

Critics allege: Science has disproved Christianity.
Keller responds: Richard Dawkins is SO mean. The existence of religious scientists like Francis Collins disproves his entire argument about the incompatibility of science and religion. Let’s draw the boundaries between science and religion here where I want them; then there will be no need for conflict between the two.

Critics allege: You can’t take the Bible literally.
Keller responds: Don’t get too caught up in controversies and those supposed contradictions; they’re like the shallow end of the pool. You’re better off diving right in off the deep end.


That's basically it. He even used a pool analogy in that last chapter in pretty much exactly that same way.

Spacesocks

Pleasant and Mildly Anxious

The notes my back doctor wrote about me go as such:

Pleasant, mildly anxious 21-year-old single female, well-dressed and well-nourished.


Mildly anxious? What? Am I really mildly anxious? I'm ok with 'pleasant', but geez. I guess I can be a bit nervous sometimes. My family has called me neurotic, and I can have mild panic attacks when I'm meeting new people...but am I really mildly anxious? This worries me, but not as much as well-nourished. Do you think she thinks I'm fat? But whatever. If she thinks a bird-shit-covered t-shirt is well dressed, then I can't take her too seriously. And if I ever join a dating website, this description will be pretty handy.

In other news, I'm seeing Flipper this week. They're this 80's hardcore punk band from San Fransisco. They're all in their forties now. I'm that cool.

Also, I just had this email conversation with my kid brother, and I'm only half joking. I'm thinking of actually going through with this.

Me: I'm thinking of introducing myself to strangers as 'Bob', because it's a lot more memoroable than my bland real name. what do you think?

Brother: hey bob. you have a very interesting name. i think i'll remember you now.

And finally, yesterday at work a lady pulled her credit card out of her boob, and I had to swipe it. Some people should be thrown into a pit and burned.

~Earflaps

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

The Summer of NPH


This summer has had many themes for me. It's been a summer of adventure, love and family. I've truly grown as a person.

On the other hand... and this is appropriately awkward, I've inadvertently become obsessed with Neal Patrick Harris.

I'll make my case.

1. It all started with Joss Whedon and his genius project, Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog. I've watched it more than once... it's pretty much the best thing to come from the Internet this summer. Every time I watch it, I'm at the edge of my seat rooting for the huggable Dr. Horrible.


2. Then came the realization that the videos on hulu.com are really swell. After some obsessive Buffy watching, I decided to cool off with some nice, refreshing Doogie Howser, MD. He was such a brilliant, lovable doctor...
they don't make medical shows like they used to.

2. Who could forget the NPH cameo in Harold and Kumar? Fantastic film, I watched it with my Chinese friend.

3. Then there was this piece of advertising genius from Old Spice.

4. Oh, and there is the TV show "How I Met Your Mother." I don't really watch TV at school, so I easily overlooked this show. However, I saw a couple episodes this summer and was charmed by the sitcom. It has that guy from "Freaks and Geeks" plus, Alyson Hannigan is wicked cute.

5. Finally, this article convinced me that Neal Patrick was worthy of a tribute in our blog. Neal is awesome and gay and I'm a huge fan of the awesome/gay combo.

Thanks for reading this,

-RS

Oh Em Geezies.


There could not be anything more frightening than this.

UPDATE: The Chihuahua movie was a huge success. According to this article, people are in the mood for escapism these days and even hunky stars like Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crow can't get them to go see a serious movie (especially not one about the Iraq War!). Wow, who whoulda thunk it?
Indicators like Chihuahua movies topping box office charts are really what tell us that we're in a declining empire.

Rarely do we ask: What do white people like?

So, today I sat in a bookstore read the entire book, Stuff White People Like.

It was quite funny, here is the website.

The book is written by a liberal middle to upper-middle class white guy in his, I suppose, 20's with a liberal arts education and a great understanding of behavior that is very "white." He humorously addresses a non-Caucasian audience giving tips on how to get in with the "right" kind of white people.

On the car ride back from the bookstore, I realized that I had to consciously remember that this summer was the summer of adventure and discovering India and family and figuring out what to do with my life and NOT the summer during which I sat in a book store and realized that I am a completely predictable, cookie-cutter, liberal, indie-music loving, Apple-product-brandishing ABCD (American Born Confused Desi). I like listening to NPR and reading the New York Times! And yes, I LOVE my useless Liberal Arts education!

There! Fine!

*deep breath* okay, calm now...

According to the book, I'm about 55% the "right" kind of white person... *shrug* at least I'm unpredictably not white, huh?


-Retrosweater

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Smart People

Alright, this is more rant than review.
So, Smart People, as many of you know, is a quirky/independent, character-based film with the slow pace and the eccentric/depressed characters that are required for every movie in it's genre (like: Garden State or In Good Company). Most people would be drawn to the film by the actors, who have cross-genre/generational appeal:
Dennis Quaid, Sarah Jessica "Career woman looking for love" Parker, Thomas "I show my ass in every movie I'm in" Hayden Church and Ellen "Smart-ass-teen" Page.
Dennis Quaid's character is the center of the plot as a widower English Professor.
The film goes a little something like this (only with annoying guitar-pick background music that served only to make the film as tedious as possible):

Dennis: I'm an eccentric, pretentious jackass. Ow! I just got injured doing something mean and stupid.
Sarah: I'm your doctor, I'm witty and smart. I realllly want you to like me because you gave me a 'C' on a paper once.
Dennis: Date me.
Sarah: Okay... but wait, you're a total douchbag and you're old and self absorbed.
Dennis: Uh huh
Sarah: Oh, okay, fine, lets have sex
Audience: *barf*
Sarah: I'm here for Christmas dinner!
Ellen: Pay attention to me, damnit!
Dennis: Holy crap, I'm totally oblivious to what my children are doing! Oh well, I guess it's all good because I have a girlfriend now.
Sarah: I'm mad at you because you're a jackass. Bye.
Dennis: Oh balls!
Thomas: You're an oblivious loser. You're daughter has no friends and I'm pretty sure she's clinically depressed.
Dennis: *shrug* I want my girlfriend back...
Sarah: I'm pregnant with your baby (even though I have a degree in medicine and should really know how to use a condom). I've been ignoring you because you're an asshole.
Dennis: Well, I'm still an asshole.
Sarah: *smiles* aww, that was sweet.
Dennis: I love you.
Ellen: I think I'm just going to sulk off into a corner and wallow in self pity and maybe commit suicide.
Dennis: But babies are cute!
Ellen: Oh, okay, I'll smile then.

ABRUPT END.

Hope I didn't give away the entire plot of the movie to someone who might have wanted to watch it. Actually, that's a lie... this film is not really worth it's price in rental. This film is particularly painful because it had so much potential. This movie totally threw away important plots (like the ones about parenting and being a teenager) in favor of a completely unbelievable romance between Quaid and Parker (absolutely no Chemistry).
Page was wasted on this project...

At least the writers gave us this shallow message: You don't have to have any actual character growth in a movie about quirky intellectuals.

Sigh.

-Retrosweater

Why we should do more reviews?

Because I use my summers to gain culture by watching (mediocre lighthearted) movies, reading (mostly trashy-)novels and listening to tons of music (genre, you ask? I listen music that everyone who doesn't want to listen to music that "everybody" listens to... listens to). But I digress...

I think we should pack in as many reviews as possible before all of our sugary sweet pop-culture knowledge is replaced by the stock broccoli and asparagus of Comps and college.

Plus, that's what blogs do best- opinionate!

(I know that's not a verb, but it should be in this brave new world of Blogosphere, where everyone is worthy of their own Op-ed!)

So, yeah. I'm inspirational, huh?

Sincerely,

Retrosweater

Now, where to begin...?