You may be wondering how it went with the rest of that insufferable book "The Reason for God." I have here a summary of the second half of it, which author Timothy Keller calls "The Reasons for Faith." How good are those reasons, you may ask? Well, if you want to judge for yourself, you could go back to the original source, but this is what I got out of it.
The Clues of God
Here are a few variations on the question-begging appeal to ignorance and anthropocentric retro-probabilistic speculations based on a poor understanding of the Anthropic Principle. Let’s see you dodge that, atheists! [Fatherly chuckle].
The Knowledge of God
I can’t understand how atheists get their morals; therefore they actually believe in God but are in denial. Also, despite the fact that this argument is so incredibly brilliant and convincing, I still found it necessary to include 13 other chapters in this book to persuade my readers of what I know they already know.
The Problem of Sin
If you base your life on anything but God, your identity will become unstable, and you will lose your self. Isn’t that scary? So hand over your identity to God, and get an entirely new self. This may sound even scarier than what I just tried to scare you away from, but it is what God expects of us.
Religion and the Gospel
Religious people think they can save themselves through good behavior. These people are actually worse sinners than everyone else, because they are self-righteous. But Christianity is not a Religion. It’s a Gospel. True Christians behave well because they are Saved, they don’t behave well in order to be saved. Therefore, they are not self-righteous.
The (True) Story of the Cross
Think about the last time you forgave someone. It hurt, didn’t it? It hurt Jesus too—and he showed it physically. He also had to suffer to show solidarity with us in our own suffering; he wouldn’t really be showing us love otherwise, because in order to understand what someone is going through, you have to go through it yourself. For example, if someone is bleeding, you cut yourself and bleed with them, you don’t just make meaningless pity-noises.
The Reality of the Resurrection
The Resurrection must have really happened because religious movements never gain any traction if they make false claims that people in the wider culture would find ridiculous.
The Dance of God
The Father loves the Son loves the Holy Spirit loves you! Come on, you know you want to believe it.
Epilogue: Where do we go from here?
It doesn’t matter if it isn’t clear to you how you’re going to be able to swallow the huge pile of garbage I’ve just dealt you. Just repent before God for all the times you’ve ever trusted anyone or anything but Him, join a True Christian church, and pray that it’ll sort itself out.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
Like the city in Alaska
I got a kick out of this image, so I had to put it up.
Even though I feel guilty about contributing to the gossip feeding frenzy.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Making fun of religion makes me feel smart
My evangelical pen-pal "dared" me to read a book called "The Reason for God." The book jacket promises that the author "singlehandedly dismantles" every major objection to warmed-over neo-fundamentalist Christian orthodoxy. Singlehandedly dismantles! Wow! So I start reading this book, half-expecting my objections to be dismantled. Singlehandledly. By a guy who, it turns out, can't even get his head around the objections.
Spoiler alert: he fails epically. His efforts should only be expected to impress committed Christians who seek to allay their own lukewarm doubts, and perhaps a few non-Christians with malfunctioning baloney-detection systems.
There are really too many things wrong with this book to do it justice in a blog post, and my above-mentioned pen-pal can expect a more thoughtful and respectful response. But I have a deep-seated need to make fun of religious apologetics. So below, I offer you a flippant summary of Part 1, "The Leap of Doubt."
Critics allege: There can’t be just one true religion.
Keller responds: Yes, there can.
Critics allege: How could a good God allow suffering?
Keller responds: It builds character. But don’t worry; Jesus feels your pain.
Critics allege: Christianity is a straitjacket.
Keller responds: Freedom is slavery; slavery is freedom. Ta-da! Who’s in the straitjacket now?!?
Critics allege: The Church is responsible for so much injustice.
Keller responds: The Church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints. But it’s not a moral improvement program. Jesus invented compassion and all the values people use to critique Christianity, so you do not have your own grounds from which to critique Christianity anyway.
Critics allege: How can a loving God send people to Hell?
Keller responds: All wrongdoing must be punished. People who don’t believe in Hell just want to indulge their desire to sin without being accountable to anyone.
Critics allege: Science has disproved Christianity.
Keller responds: Richard Dawkins is SO mean. The existence of religious scientists like Francis Collins disproves his entire argument about the incompatibility of science and religion. Let’s draw the boundaries between science and religion here where I want them; then there will be no need for conflict between the two.
Critics allege: You can’t take the Bible literally.
Keller responds: Don’t get too caught up in controversies and those supposed contradictions; they’re like the shallow end of the pool. You’re better off diving right in off the deep end.
That's basically it. He even used a pool analogy in that last chapter in pretty much exactly that same way.
Spacesocks
Spoiler alert: he fails epically. His efforts should only be expected to impress committed Christians who seek to allay their own lukewarm doubts, and perhaps a few non-Christians with malfunctioning baloney-detection systems.
There are really too many things wrong with this book to do it justice in a blog post, and my above-mentioned pen-pal can expect a more thoughtful and respectful response. But I have a deep-seated need to make fun of religious apologetics. So below, I offer you a flippant summary of Part 1, "The Leap of Doubt."
Critics allege: There can’t be just one true religion.
Keller responds: Yes, there can.
Critics allege: How could a good God allow suffering?
Keller responds: It builds character. But don’t worry; Jesus feels your pain.
Critics allege: Christianity is a straitjacket.
Keller responds: Freedom is slavery; slavery is freedom. Ta-da! Who’s in the straitjacket now?!?
Critics allege: The Church is responsible for so much injustice.
Keller responds: The Church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints. But it’s not a moral improvement program. Jesus invented compassion and all the values people use to critique Christianity, so you do not have your own grounds from which to critique Christianity anyway.
Critics allege: How can a loving God send people to Hell?
Keller responds: All wrongdoing must be punished. People who don’t believe in Hell just want to indulge their desire to sin without being accountable to anyone.
Critics allege: Science has disproved Christianity.
Keller responds: Richard Dawkins is SO mean. The existence of religious scientists like Francis Collins disproves his entire argument about the incompatibility of science and religion. Let’s draw the boundaries between science and religion here where I want them; then there will be no need for conflict between the two.
Critics allege: You can’t take the Bible literally.
Keller responds: Don’t get too caught up in controversies and those supposed contradictions; they’re like the shallow end of the pool. You’re better off diving right in off the deep end.
That's basically it. He even used a pool analogy in that last chapter in pretty much exactly that same way.
Spacesocks
Pleasant and Mildly Anxious
The notes my back doctor wrote about me go as such:
Pleasant, mildly anxious 21-year-old single female, well-dressed and well-nourished.
Mildly anxious? What? Am I really mildly anxious? I'm ok with 'pleasant', but geez. I guess I can be a bit nervous sometimes. My family has called me neurotic, and I can have mild panic attacks when I'm meeting new people...but am I really mildly anxious? This worries me, but not as much as well-nourished. Do you think she thinks I'm fat? But whatever. If she thinks a bird-shit-covered t-shirt is well dressed, then I can't take her too seriously. And if I ever join a dating website, this description will be pretty handy.
In other news, I'm seeing Flipper this week. They're this 80's hardcore punk band from San Fransisco. They're all in their forties now. I'm that cool.
Also, I just had this email conversation with my kid brother, and I'm only half joking. I'm thinking of actually going through with this.
Me: I'm thinking of introducing myself to strangers as 'Bob', because it's a lot more memoroable than my bland real name. what do you think?
Brother: hey bob. you have a very interesting name. i think i'll remember you now.
And finally, yesterday at work a lady pulled her credit card out of her boob, and I had to swipe it. Some people should be thrown into a pit and burned.
~Earflaps
Pleasant, mildly anxious 21-year-old single female, well-dressed and well-nourished.
Mildly anxious? What? Am I really mildly anxious? I'm ok with 'pleasant', but geez. I guess I can be a bit nervous sometimes. My family has called me neurotic, and I can have mild panic attacks when I'm meeting new people...but am I really mildly anxious? This worries me, but not as much as well-nourished. Do you think she thinks I'm fat? But whatever. If she thinks a bird-shit-covered t-shirt is well dressed, then I can't take her too seriously. And if I ever join a dating website, this description will be pretty handy.
In other news, I'm seeing Flipper this week. They're this 80's hardcore punk band from San Fransisco. They're all in their forties now. I'm that cool.
Also, I just had this email conversation with my kid brother, and I'm only half joking. I'm thinking of actually going through with this.
Me: I'm thinking of introducing myself to strangers as 'Bob', because it's a lot more memoroable than my bland real name. what do you think?
Brother: hey bob. you have a very interesting name. i think i'll remember you now.
And finally, yesterday at work a lady pulled her credit card out of her boob, and I had to swipe it. Some people should be thrown into a pit and burned.
~Earflaps
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