The notes my back doctor wrote about me go as such:
Pleasant, mildly anxious 21-year-old single female, well-dressed and well-nourished.
Mildly anxious? What? Am I really mildly anxious? I'm ok with 'pleasant', but geez. I guess I can be a bit nervous sometimes. My family has called me neurotic, and I can have mild panic attacks when I'm meeting new people...but am I really mildly anxious? This worries me, but not as much as well-nourished. Do you think she thinks I'm fat? But whatever. If she thinks a bird-shit-covered t-shirt is well dressed, then I can't take her too seriously. And if I ever join a dating website, this description will be pretty handy.
In other news, I'm seeing Flipper this week. They're this 80's hardcore punk band from San Fransisco. They're all in their forties now. I'm that cool.
Also, I just had this email conversation with my kid brother, and I'm only half joking. I'm thinking of actually going through with this.
Me: I'm thinking of introducing myself to strangers as 'Bob', because it's a lot more memoroable than my bland real name. what do you think?
Brother: hey bob. you have a very interesting name. i think i'll remember you now.
And finally, yesterday at work a lady pulled her credit card out of her boob, and I had to swipe it. Some people should be thrown into a pit and burned.
~Earflaps
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2 comments:
Oh my, how in the world did you see what the doctor wrote? I wouldn't worry about it too much... bird shit clothing is never 'in' and that means that this woman has more issues than you... and what really matter is not how neurotic you are, but how neurotic you are when compared to others who are more so. If you're beating Mr. Monk, you're good. Also, Bob would be a fantastic name for you. I think that if I introduced myself as 'Bob' people would nod knowingly and then lean forward and say "'Bob", is that Indian?"
That's really the best inept character description I've ever read. If I ever become a doctor, I'm going to describe as many patients as possible as "pleasant and mildly anxious."
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