The Video

Here it is - the result of over a year of obsessive editing and rendering on my computer. Over two years ago I tried to play a .wma file on VLC player, but instead of hearing music, I found myself mesmerized by pretty colors. So instead of packing for my trip back to college, I obsessively sat in my room (there was also a New Years party I was neglecting downstairs) and took screen vids of the flashy images.

The next few weeks I started making patterns in Final Cut, increasing the complexity to the point that I couldn't focus my eyes for hours at a time. My roommates remember - I did nothing else, late into the night. I layered in audio later - most of the tracks stem from the HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy Book on Tape and my brother playing guitar a la Audacity.

I don't know how good it is, but my best friend back home said it blew her mind. Of course, she later told me she'd been tripping on acid at the time, so...yeah. But still.

- Eaflaps

P.S. Please don't have seizures. And you should watch on YouTube full screen with audio cranked.

Pleasant and Mildly Anxious

The notes my back doctor wrote about me go as such:

Pleasant, mildly anxious 21-year-old single female, well-dressed and well-nourished.

Mildly anxious? What? Am I really mildly anxious? I'm ok with 'pleasant', but geez. I guess I can be a bit nervous sometimes. My family has called me neurotic, and I can have mild panic attacks when I'm meeting new people...but am I really mildly anxious? This worries me, but not as much as well-nourished. Do you think she thinks I'm fat? But whatever. If she thinks a bird-shit-covered t-shirt is well dressed, then I can't take her too seriously. And if I ever join a dating website, this description will be pretty handy.

In other news, I'm seeing Flipper this week. They're this 80's hardcore punk band from San Fransisco. They're all in their forties now. I'm that cool.

Also, I just had this email conversation with my kid brother, and I'm only half joking. I'm thinking of actually going through with this.

Me: I'm thinking of introducing myself to strangers as 'Bob', because it's a lot more memoroable than my bland real name. what do you think?

Brother: hey bob. you have a very interesting name. i think i'll remember you now.

And finally, yesterday at work a lady pulled her credit card out of her boob, and I had to swipe it. Some people should be thrown into a pit and burned.

~Earflaps

Death of a Porn Star

I have sad news: one of the world's most influential adult film stars has died today in her Malibu apartment. Obviously the major news stations aren't covering the event, but the news is big in the blogosphere and underground news networks.

I know it seems strange to mourn a porn star, but hear me out. Like hundreds of others, I first read the story out of MTV-style curiosity, but it turns out she was one of the first actresses to demand that all her films depict safe sex, including the use of condoms and dental dams. That's significant, people!

Admittedly, she was also infamous for starring in 'gang-bangs', which can hardly be characterized as safe, and she was known for some...well, severely kinky stuff. Anyways, to see some pictures of her life and work, click the link below, but just be warned that not all are safe for work!

Candy Johnson

~Earflaps

The Joker.

I wonder at how I use my freetime. ~Earflaps

P.S. I need to see that movie again asap, but it's hard to find movie buddies when your roommates decide to spend the summer in different states and then travel to India. Bastards. At least I have the internet to keep me company. And depressing Seattle grunge....I need to stop listening to local rock. Next week, hippie music!

Cobain

Last night I felt like photoshopping, but as I had no internet I ended up mucking around with my desktop picture (Nirvana [I like it because Cobain is in a cheerleader outfit and Grohl's leather shirt doesn't fit]). This was the result. Unfortunately, the caption came to me in a short-lived moment of clarity and now I don't remember what the deeper meaning was supposed to be.

I Was a Kangaroo Being Chased by a Dinosaur in a Mall Last Night

I just rediscovered this almost forgotten blog, and would like to place a piece of mindtrash onto it.

Last night I dreamed I was a kangaroo being chased by three T-rexs in a shopping mall. It wasn't fun; not a scary dream, but definitely a frustrating dream, because no matter how much I tried to run or hide, they kept finding me again. Even when I leapt down whole flights of escalators, they would make a very dramatic roar and fling their tiny arms around and jump down right behind me, their massive teeth almost crushing me.

Someone had set them on me, but I don't remember that part of the dream, (the part that gives explanation). I DO remember I finally escaped the mall to the outdoor city, where the crowds of people and intricate streets made it harder for them to smell me and hone in. I was human at this point, not a kangaroo. I thought I should get in a taxi, so I did so, and that helped me escape them even further. Another taxi, and damn, I realized the three people in the taxi were the T-rexes in their human form. Fortunately, they couldn't recognize me or smell me as humans, so I just had to keep up the ruse.

Turns out the three T-rexes ran a guitar/metal band store on a small street in that city, and I thought of a great way to fool them. They walked out one day, wondering why their usual hangers-on weren't around, and they discovered I had opened a 'green' environmentally friendly 'rock metal' store just down the street! Our 'green' guitars attracted all those young hippies, and the store was also spiritual. So they walk out of their store with the thrasher metal playing and find a bunch of young Christians belting songs to Jesus into a microphone down the street. Business was booming; I'd covered the Jesus-lovers and the green-nuts.

The T-rexes went out of business.