Smart People

Alright, this is more rant than review.
So, Smart People, as many of you know, is a quirky/independent, character-based film with the slow pace and the eccentric/depressed characters that are required for every movie in it's genre (like: Garden State or In Good Company). Most people would be drawn to the film by the actors, who have cross-genre/generational appeal:
Dennis Quaid, Sarah Jessica "Career woman looking for love" Parker, Thomas "I show my ass in every movie I'm in" Hayden Church and Ellen "Smart-ass-teen" Page.
Dennis Quaid's character is the center of the plot as a widower English Professor.
The film goes a little something like this (only with annoying guitar-pick background music that served only to make the film as tedious as possible):

Dennis: I'm an eccentric, pretentious jackass. Ow! I just got injured doing something mean and stupid.
Sarah: I'm your doctor, I'm witty and smart. I realllly want you to like me because you gave me a 'C' on a paper once.
Dennis: Date me.
Sarah: Okay... but wait, you're a total douchbag and you're old and self absorbed.
Dennis: Uh huh
Sarah: Oh, okay, fine, lets have sex
Audience: *barf*
Sarah: I'm here for Christmas dinner!
Ellen: Pay attention to me, damnit!
Dennis: Holy crap, I'm totally oblivious to what my children are doing! Oh well, I guess it's all good because I have a girlfriend now.
Sarah: I'm mad at you because you're a jackass. Bye.
Dennis: Oh balls!
Thomas: You're an oblivious loser. You're daughter has no friends and I'm pretty sure she's clinically depressed.
Dennis: *shrug* I want my girlfriend back...
Sarah: I'm pregnant with your baby (even though I have a degree in medicine and should really know how to use a condom). I've been ignoring you because you're an asshole.
Dennis: Well, I'm still an asshole.
Sarah: *smiles* aww, that was sweet.
Dennis: I love you.
Ellen: I think I'm just going to sulk off into a corner and wallow in self pity and maybe commit suicide.
Dennis: But babies are cute!
Ellen: Oh, okay, I'll smile then.

ABRUPT END.

Hope I didn't give away the entire plot of the movie to someone who might have wanted to watch it. Actually, that's a lie... this film is not really worth it's price in rental. This film is particularly painful because it had so much potential. This movie totally threw away important plots (like the ones about parenting and being a teenager) in favor of a completely unbelievable romance between Quaid and Parker (absolutely no Chemistry).
Page was wasted on this project...

At least the writers gave us this shallow message: You don't have to have any actual character growth in a movie about quirky intellectuals.

Sigh.

-Retrosweater